Let’s Dance (Virtually)

Just a self-indulgent one. This is a collection of dances which, as far as I know, do not exist.

The Standing Still

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From a great single by The Table. Has anybody else heard of them? This is all I know of theirs. I’m resisting the temptation to look them up on the Internet.

The disco is full of sweating bodies/ My bedroom is full of dead bodies/ Doing the Standing Still

The Skull….. etc.

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From a poem by Adrian Mitchell. (See also I Have It By Heart .)

You can do the Skull/ Or the Diplomat/ But I do a dance called/ The Sorry ‘Bout That

Do the Mighty Whitey/ Or the Landlord Rat/ But I’ll keep grooving to/ The Sorry ‘Bout That

The Walk of Life

From the eponymous song by Dire Straits. It probably has some deep meaning of which I am blissfully ignorant.

The Strand

The song ‘Do the Strand’ by Roxy Music is a joyous flight of fantasy.

There’s a new sensation/ A fabulous creation/ A danceable solution/ To teenage revolution

The Funky Gibbon

This was a comedy single written by Bill Oddie  for The Goodies. I think they probably did perform this dance in reality on TV, but I have included it here simply because I wanted to show off the fact that the Soft Machine dedicated a song called ‘Stanley Stamps Gibbon Album’ to Bill Oddie.

The One-Inch Rock/ The Woodland Bop/ The Rip-Off Bop

Marc Bolan and Tyrannosaurus Rex/ T. Rex are a rich source of fantasy dances. Their music before stardom has always struck me as child-like and innocent….. it drives some people crazy with irritation.

The Resurrection Shuffle

The song by Ashton, Gardener and Dyke even has some actions:

Put your hand on your hip/ Now you let your backbone slip

Sounds painful.

The Stroll

Presently we’ll have a/ Pint or two together/ Everybody do the Stroll

From ‘The Fog on the Tyne’ by Lindisfarne. Apologies if I got the lyrics of this one wrong. It’ll be alright- we’ll have a drink on a Friday night.

A footnote; Why , in using dance names, is the definite article never capitalised? “Weary of the Waltz?” Answers please. Try to avoid emphasising my ignorance.

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One thought on “Let’s Dance (Virtually)

  1. Nietoperzyco, jeszcze slowo! Nie jestem babcia i predko nie bede! O tej kokieteri to tylko tak, bo teksty masz mlode i myslace. A i ja swoje lata mam. Znam osoby po 20 z mysleniem zgrzybialych staykszeu.Brlam przed chwila na spacerze z psem. Czy u was tez tak ksiezyc swieci?! Bede miala noc z glowy bo swieci mi w okno, lobuz!

    Like

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