The Fashion Police have become aware that there is some uncertainty about fashion standards. While it would be against the Fashion Police code of conduct to stifle individuality, it appears advisable to issue some guidance on an ad hoc basis to minimise the risk of individuals or groups committing offences. This then is the first in an occasional series of bulletins.
Baseball Caps These should not be worn back to front. To clarify, the point of the peak is to shield the eyes from the sun. On the spot fines may be imposed.
Trousers The top of this item of clothing should be approximately at the level of the waist or upper hips, not below the buttocks. The clue is in the term “waistband”. It is never acceptable for underwear to be exposed. A fixed penalty is automatic for the first offence; further sanctions may be necessary for repeat offenders.
Ripped Jeans It appears that there is currently a trend for jeans to be purchased with rips made in the knees. Senior members of the Fashion Police are to be heard sighing at this point, as there was a similar fashion in the 1970s. The concept then was a certain casual disregard for convention. If you must do this, rip them yourself, or better still wear a pair ripped through heavy use. (Advisory only.)
Onesies A pleasing trend is for the wearing of “onesies” in public (particularly supermarkets) to be diminishing. The Fashion Police applaud this.
Baseball Caps Was this not clear? These should NOT be worn back to front.
Future Trends Futher guidance will be issued, especially as the weather becomes more clement. However, it should be noted that wearing shorts over tights is not and will not be acceptable, for males or females.
Please note: As always, good taste is very individual and it is impossible to legislate for every eventuality. The Fashion Police reserve the right to change their minds or take an irrational dislike to some trend. This is by no means a definitive list.